Can You Imagine?

Can you imagine? Someone you've loved so dearly actually says "I love you" to another total stranger whom you don't even know when he's met her and how he's met her??

I swear this is torturing.

I'd knew she would put a photo of him on her FB soon.
..she did. She Fucking did.

Look at his smile...
Does he say "I love you" like he did to me?
..like looking into my eyes and not say anything and just tell me that he loves me thru his pair of sparkling eyes?

I loved him.
..and I still fucking do for fuck sake.

I've been silly. I know.

It has not gone. The feeling.
As much as I said I'd move on. I fucking just can't.

I'd lost my pet recently. Had him for 10years.. He just passed 3days ago.
Its probaly good for him as he doesn't have to suffer anymore.
Too bad I didn't managed to see him till his last breath.
Loved him madly.
Don't think I will get a dog in years for now. I don't think I can take in a lost life, again; for now.
Hope 'You' will forgive me sayang.. It's probaly timed for 'You' to move on to the next life..
I'm sorry I didn't have time at all to grieve over 'You' properly just yet.
Been busy. Been really busy.

I had really need to get my life up straight before I give up on it.
..holding there~still.

Work. Work. Work.
Foreign country. Foreign people. Language barrier. Love lost. Pet lost. Grief. Family. In Between. Caught..
Feelings I can't describe. Feelings I can quite identify what is it.
Heart-broken? Definately.

To tell you the truth..
..I really don't know if I am still waiting for him to love me again for this life of mine or I am ready for another man in my life. I just don't fucking know.. just yet.

..But I think I still hoping that he would look back and realized that he's "drop" a package back and just hoping that he would come back and pick it up again..


False hope?






HerGard3n.